justin's blog

2011-11-19T20:45:00.000-08:00

Give me a break. It's just so hard when everyone demands so much of you. Can't one just do something for the joy of it. All this talk about a better life. Utter rubbish. No matter how much you do, you will get put down no matter what. After doing so much, you tell me that what I've done doesn't matter at all. Fuck you back. I'm doing this to help the school alright? It's not easy, no it isn't. Imagine what life is for me? Balancing both work and school activities at the same time? Next time, I'll take back everything you people owe me. fuck yall

2010-12-29T15:28:00.000-08:00

Sigh i'm feeling so screwed right now
It is like everything you sought out to build comes crashing right in front of you
Feeling so drained and all
I wanna sleep but i cant till things go fine
I cant believe this is happening but yeah it did.

Get well soon

2010-12-19T05:56:00.000-08:00

Sigh, right now you're coughing and vomiting
How I wish i was there with a bucket and packets of tissue
I promised to take care of you 24/7
Yet how useless I feel right now.
All I can say is get well soon so that you'll be that hyper you again:)
Sian i miss you

What a great start

2010-12-18T01:56:00.000-08:00

Something great and touching happened to me today...

I woke up with a special note written clearly on my phone screen...
She said that she enjoyed today's outing ( I did too:D)
I watched hello stanger which was some Thai movie
Dont be fooled by the title because it was an awesome movie:)
Both funny and romantic. What else can one ask for?
Well, at least she was sitting beside me:)
I guess thats the best thing that happened to me today.
Haha what can you do if you have a clumsy gf??
Well, look out for her more often

They say true love only happens in fairytales.
Well i beg to differ.
Bye:)

You brighten up my life

2010-12-15T16:07:00.000-08:00

When you're angry, I dont feel any good either.
When you're sad, I want to make you feel better.
When you're happy, I start smiling to myself and cant feel any happier.
Haha with these 3 sentences you should know how i really feel about you.
It felt so great yesterday, with the umbrella and all. If not for it, i'd probably be drenched from head to toe and catch a bloody flu again.
But your umbrella saved the day:)
But alas, the night was ruined by my fucked up attitude(dont let your imagination run wild) and i couldnt sleep like since 1pm.
I guess i care too much about you and felt sad that you were pissed with me.
I'm scared that things will start to change after yesterday's incident. Sigh....
I hope it will not but yet some things just happen. Or maybe you're just too good to be true. Yet I still love you.

End of Anderson Secondary School Life

2010-10-08T08:45:00.000-07:00

Hi blog,

Do you know about something i really regret right now?
It's not getting to know my classmates better.
I swear 4/1'10 is one of the best class I've ever been in.(2/3'08 too)
I was certain to break that stereotypical view about 3/1 and 4/1 since I entered 3/1 in 2009. It's like the "nerdy" class to everyone in the block.
Obviously I think there were a few others who thought so too...
And sometimes when you try too hard, you would never notice the things in front of you. 4/1'10 consists of many different types of gems(47, to be precise).
I regret not noticing it until today.
It was not until today that i realised that everyone had sincerely wanted to make friends with each other, but just didnt know how to approach the other party.
Lucky that today came.
Today was the day when my classmates put down all the awkwardness and went up to each other and started hugging and taking photos.
I felt like "c'mon it was the freaking last day of school!" I told myself that if i didnt that step forward to show my friends/ classmates how much I appreciate them, I'll live a total life of regret.
I really dunno what else to say now. I guess some words are just meant to be felt.
To 4/1'10 I'll really miss you guys and girls and I love everyone of you (even though i seemed indifferent towards the class throughout the whole year). If anyone from 4/1'10 (including the teachers) sees this, I want you to know that whoever you are, you really made those 2 years enjoyable for me.

Justin.

Sometimes one needs to listen to his heart, put down his dignity, pride and take that step forward for happiness, despite what others say. Well, I learnt that today.

2010-05-05T04:01:00.000-07:00

Physics paper sucked today...esp MCQ.
But Geog was worse... realised i spent too much time on the first question which left me no time for the second question.
No mood to study.(Hopefully i dont screw up chemistry tomorrow)
Hopefully, my scores are bad.
Bye!

2 messages a day keeps that question away

Being a person; harder than being a student

2010-02-26T15:14:00.000-08:00

Woke up at 6 this morning. Just had the best dream ever.
Or maybe not.
Ever since this year started, i do not know why but i have been feeling very sucky inside.
Causing fights everywhere everyday.
Its not that i want to. I just cannot help it.
Imagine letting something which you feel uncomfortable in doing carry.
I used to tolerate such stuff easily.
But it cant go on anymore.
Will someone just break me apart?
I'm an unfeeling bastard who just screwed up his whole life, not to mention his friends' too.
Been writing to write this for very long, just couldnt think of the words to say.

I feel terrible when i go to school everyday.
Just keep telling myself. Another day of torture.
I dont hate the school. But i just feel lousy all over whenever i go to school.
Some say i'm trying to 'act mature'
But i dont think it is something to be proud of.
My mind is dying inside. So what if you have good grades?
You fucking life sucks. Everything that revolves around you gets from bad to worse.

Bye.

2010-01-18T05:31:00.000-08:00

Hi world,

It has been a long time since i lasted blogged. Gosh life sucks now man, esp with a stupid sorethroat since Friday. Just puked just now. Whats worse is that everyday you go into classroom just to realise that you are just going through the same routine. The reality of taking O's this year sucks. Time really flies. Been thinking about Sec 1. How Nicholas, Zhi Xiang, Brandon, Xiu Ming, Pooven and I played around in class. Its been 3 years. Each of us have our own paths now. Wondering whether the one i took was a mistake. I wanna turn back time and rectify the mistakes..... if only i could.

Justin

JUNE CAMP 2009

2009-06-25T07:35:00.000-07:00

Finally, the camp we (NCOs '09) prepared for ended.
On the whole, i thought that it was quite a good camp despite screw ups occurring during the course of the camp. Yet i felt that it was a great experience for everyone. Well, thanks to the ex NCOs who took time off to help us in the camp. Well for the cadets, i guess it was kind of a new experince for the sec 1s, going through MED and etc.
Well lets start with DAY 1,
Opening parade was kind of okay But seriously everyone needs to shout louder.
Then came dorm cleaning. Kind of cool being an NCO duing dorm cleaning. You get to set all the spastic stuff and at the end of the day make everyone happy. Lols dun really rmb much about drm cleaning except for one incident. A group brushing their teeth came up to me and asked what are the s/s for shock. Me being the uber bastard, didnt want to tell them, so i gave some wrong s/s such as nausea headache giddiness etc. Lols and the funny thing was they asked me who is the 2nd man of ur team, and i could tell them it was me hahas. Didnt really take part in other activities until dinner. Well hope the sec 1s learn something from dinner. You dun shout loud enough, you dun eat hahas.
Then came campfire, this campfire may have been short and not alot of people turned up. Yet I thought that it was the most memorable campfire for me. Thanks to the cadets for planning such great campfire performances. ALso, thanks to Eileen for coming up with and hosting the cotton bud game. It was really a game that helped to bond ASJAB :). Loved the friendship dance alot. For every new patner i get i would try to trick that person. Sighs to think i would be tricked by my english teacher haiz but overall it was a great experience. I LOVE THIS CAMPFIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nothing much for the rest of the night except MED.
Well in my opinion MED during the first round was kind of ... Everyone did not have a sense of emergency at all. Yet during the 2nd round i could see tremendous improvement from the evac team. GOOD JOB.

2nd DAY
Thanks to Chris and Johanna for planning the PT. Well i guess this was one of the first times i see Chris scolding people and he did a great job on that. Other than that, there was nothing much on the 2nd day that i was involved with. I was quite amazed by 2 COS on that day. They took iniative and looked after their squad. Could see some effort attributed towards teamwork on that day. I guess it was a job well done for the cadets.

On the whole, i guess this camp as an NCO was not too bad. It was one of the most memorable camps i ever had, not like i had many . But yea, it was a great camp. Just need to take note of the screw ups and not commit them again.

2009-04-22T04:50:00.001-07:00

wows long time since i blogged many things have passed since then
ROD, Elementz, CA1
gosh time seems to pass by so fast
many things happen everyday and i seem to be unaware of it
screwing up is like part of my life everyday
would it hurt for life to not make such a big joke of me?
sighs if only "it" understood what i am feeling now...

2009-02-14T05:06:00.000-08:00

heys happy valentine's day to all and a happy birthday to myself(13 feb) dean(14 feb) kevin(16 feb)
school on friday was fun... lols first thing come to school see a box of all my favourite foodstuff on my table..in a very nice box
thx to suwen and joyce for all the stuff that was in it i know it was very heavy carrying back home thx alot that shall be my new food storage...
recieved 3 presents in total... 1 expensive tom and jerry boxers 1 box full of sweets and nice stuff and a wallet from ah jie...
well thx alot ppl i know these gifts were very expensive yea and thx for rmb my birthday
errr thx for wishing me:
1. su wen
2. wing sang
3. lovel
4. siying
5. johanna
6. shing yi
7. hui ling
8. jassy
9. and most ppl from 3/1
10. mama
11. sm
12. ah jie
13. hui shan
14. carine
15. jing fang
16. casmelin
17. dean
18. xian long
19. willy
20. pooven
21. brandon
22. xm
23. mz
24. azizan
25. yu zheng
26. adi
27. min shan
28. li hui
29. edmund
30. johanna
31. hh
32. zy
33. jy
and blah blah blah
too much to say le
just thx to those ppl who wished me so bb

2009-01-23T04:29:00.001-08:00

being in 3/1 now... makes me wish i treasured those times
those time when i was in 2/3 life seemed to rock alot then
fun joy laughter there was abundance of it everywhere

those friends... i really u miss u guys alot u guys were always there when i was down and everything else haiz i really wish so frigging much that we were all in the same class for the 4yrs in anderson
life seemed to rock more then

2009-01-05T06:37:00.000-08:00

Name 10 people you can think of right off the top of your head. Don't read the questions underneath until you write the names of all 10 people.

1. Zx
2. Sy
3. Xm
4. HH
5. Chris
6. Wai siong
7. yingyingPOO
8. Mz
9. Chun rong
10. brandon

1.how did u meet no. 4? (HH)
- he was in my class

2.Do you have a crush on anyone up there?
- used to

3.What would you do if you hadn't met number 1? (Zx)
- i would be sad i hadnt known a great friend

4.What would you do if 6 and 2 were going out? (SY,wai siong)
- hahas that would be great:)

5.How did you meet number 8? (Mz)
- hahas...lets keep it a secret

6.Is 2 one of your best friends? (Sy)
- yea man

7.Whose number 9's best friends? (Chun rong)
- hahas eh not too sure

8.Have you ever dated number 1?( Zx)
- hahas thats weird

9.Do you miss number 4?( HH)
- oh yes.. too much

10.what do u think of number 6? (Wai siong)
-hahas so style

11.what do you think of number 7?(yingyingPOO)
- hahas so nice great friend

12.who does number 3 like?(Xm)
- hahas food galore

13.Have you ever been inside number 8's house? (Mz)
- nono

14.Do you love number 9? (chun rong)
- yea as a friend

15. Ever been in the same bed as any of the numbers?
- nah

16.What about no. 5? (Chris)
- nopes

17.Number 10? (brandon)
- this one not too sure...,

18.Do you trust these people?
- yeah.

the 10 ppl listed are supposed tuhh do this too! :D

2009-01-05T06:18:00.000-08:00

1. Tell us a secret
hahas no thks

2. Would you fall in love with a boy/girl older than you?
lols dun think so

3. Would you rather be ditched or betrayed by your friends?
ditched

4. What would you do with a billion dollars?
spend on food;)

5. Will you fall in love with your best friend?
hard for that kind of love to come by but why not

6. If you were stuck in a well/deserted island, with nothing to eat but with some person you really damn hate him/her cause of betrayal/done "shang tian hai li" stuff, would you want to cooperate and get the hell out of the well/deserted island?
depends

7. How do you define love?
something i suck at

8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
too bad luh

9. Is there anything that has made you extremely happy?
yea.. but its a secret

10. What makes you sad?
the fact that i live without effort

11. How would you see yourself in 10 years time?
someone that at least knows wad he wans in life

12. Who are currently the most important people to you?
friends and family

13. What is being regarded as the most important thing in your life?
willpower

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married but poor?
married

15. What is your favourite colour?
yellow hahas

16. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously, and both of them do the same, who would you pick?
hahas eni meni mini mo

17. Would you forgive and forget no matter how horrible a thing the someone has done?
hahas if he is willing to repent

18. What do you want to tell the someone you love?
dunno...

19. If there is a choice between lover and friends, which will you choose?
friend

20. Do you believe that there's "True Love"?
hahas thought so but guess i am wrong

21. What is the number one thing that you want to do most now?
be a better person

5 people who's going to do this survey:

lovel

xm

sy

hh

chris

2008-12-31T05:04:00.000-08:00

lols end of 2008 le another 3 more hours
then to the start of a new year
this yr was an eventful one.. having both gd and bad stuff
haiz i just nid time to change
today went to watch yes man
it was nice and funny yet as i think bout it
i think it depicts most about my life
my dumb frigging life
i am like always shoving away the path of being initiative and take my own life and people's lifes into my hands
thks to rosalind and wei ting mam for helping me realise that
i have 1 life might as well make the best of it

2008-12-24T04:11:00.000-08:00

yays tmr is christmas
merry christmas to everyone

lols camp was fun although much different than the previous camps
being a COS was ok except for times wehreby i had to shout around
games were fun then i think i was quite a bastard by apointing roles to ppl during my time of being COS just to help out with the work(such as kay hwee nanthini johanna mumaizah siying shing yi and hiap hong) thks for helping out i couldnt have survived being a COS if not for u guys
throughout the whole camp made me realise what i really was lacking
which is simple yet complicated... wad i lack is just the willpower
if others can do it why cant i? i went to the camp thinking i had the right mind for the camp going there to take the initiative but it all turns out to be a false alarm
sometimes in the camp, esp MED i kind of panicked which is not wad an verall in charge was supposed to do... i could have caused the whole failure of the whole operation

2008-12-20T01:22:00.001-08:00

They say everyone makes mistakes....yet i seem to be making too many mistakes

sometimes i just wonder..does the problem lies wif me
then i will try to just blame that the other person also has fault yet it all comes back to it being some dumb excuse
yet this has many too many times alrdy
definitely even if i didnt start it i still had a large part in it
and even if i try to resolve it all i know is that people cannot put their trust in me anymore
but its just me.... so i shud try to change for the better to ensure less people get hurt in the process

year 2008

2008-12-07T05:46:00.001-08:00

hols passing very quickly
alot has happened for the past 1 month.
china trip...all the conflicts and fun we had
going out wif primary sch friends...going out sis and ivy and looking back makes me feel as though everyone has changed
but looking back at myself....didnt think that things would change so quickly
guess i am still in my own world where everything revolves ever slowly
waiting for things to happen and just react to it
well never thought much bout changing coz sometimes changes arent really for the best
realised sec2 life for me was very eventful compared to sec 1
reflecting upon the past which occurred this yr lots have happened

...all the muggings wif mws and gang, fun times wif brandon, pooven, xiu ming and nick and zx and ..... trainings wif sy, chris, hh and all the times where i have been so childish and slack....just waiting for training to end or mayb just not having the attitude during comp training.. thks guys for spurring me on to do better
all the problems and conflicts i have this yr....all reflect upon my character
i haven really been much of a great friend to many ppl and always having problems due to my attitude...well sry to those ppl

all the times whereby i thought i was trying to think of the best for ppl it all seemed as though i was just causing them more harm and they would be better off without me...sometimes i just seem to be more of a hindrance than a help to ppl
well sry

Also to the ppl who have trained me in st john...i know i have not been showing the correct attitude...always wanting shortcuts in stuff and never making the effort to do more even...well i know i shoudlnt have brought such attitudes when going for training so ....sry

Lastly to the ppl who i made empty promises to.... well i have said many things this year but thinking about how many of them are actually accomplished well its possible to even say none..at times all it seems as though i am making empty promises and just letting the ppl who put their trust in me down...esp to the ppl who trained wif me such as sec 2asjab08 or my classmates in 2/3'08
well guess i just cant fulfill those promises and guess sry doesnt even help...sorries can heal all wounds but will never be able to erase all the scars

CHalet and bbq

2008-11-14T05:39:00.000-08:00

lol nothing much bout chalet and bbq just play and more
play lols feeling so happy now su wen finally forgave me
went home at 8.45 reached at 12.30 like so wtf?!?

lols blame us for losing the way but i shud b happy i
even reached home here's how it goes:
ms ng told us take the 4th underpass couldnt find it so went to take the 3rd one
then walked for like 45 mins through condos and stuff liddat then took a bus to parkway parade. omg the bus 76 took bout freaking 45 mins to come then went to the loop at some ulu place in the expressway then suddenly the bus stopped we got suspicious and went down. omfg there was no bus driver we were scared outta our wits immediately took our stuff and left immediately saw bus 13 and told him wad happened then suddenly saw our bus driver ...... he went for a smoke dotz but was damn creepy is like he suddenly disappear then those kind of scenes were like in ghost shows all of us were too freaked out to even take the last bus home but gladly we all reached home safe and sound lol

2008-11-11T04:36:00.000-08:00

lols PPPPPPPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOmamas
rmb u guys promise me u will play de hor
so must play:) lol jkjk la wun force u all play de la

today was kinda fun...waking up at 8 then play comp
tot the meeting was at 11.30 zzzzzzzz turns out it was 11 lols sry sy and hh
when to sch did some stuff for the china trip but turn out we end up playing
haizzzzzz then went to kfc eat and talk bout stuff(rmb what u guys promised me)

And to the girls comp team jia you
you can make the impossible possible

2008-11-10T07:08:00.000-08:00

SSSSSSSIIIIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNSSSSSS

cant believe i am saying that again sry if i had hurt u
i really dunno what i can do for u which makes me wanna
back out from all of this i am sry
----to that someone special----

2007-10-26T22:26:00.000-07:00

omg today i saw something so scary........ no thanks to andrea
when i saw it my heart missed one beat lol
nothing much to blog lol

2007-10-26T22:22:00.000-07:00

finally start blogging again lol
ytd was fun! pooven xm and i went amk hub go watch the seeker then we went to yio chu kang stadium play badminton with someone.....so ps.... didnt manage to find the badminton court till someone showed us the way lol
then we went to the macs opposite amk library pooven was saying that it was so wasted going there....
then went home to play audi

wednesday

2007-08-27T05:30:00.000-07:00

today we played captain's ball and it was like so damn messy too many people playing. As usual zhi xiang and brandon(the pros) always got the ball and score. Nicholas also very pro he managed to score quite a few goals while i was at the back trying to hit the ball away from the opponents (but most of the time miss lar coz i not so tall) Some of the girls also quite pro. Xiu ming was so funny he like use his arms to charge up energy then he throw damn far.

then efl was quite nice russell lee came to our school to tell us about writing good stories then the nicholas from 1/2 totally embarassed himself lol "happy little bird" then after that it was st john time.

then my mum say she wan talk to ms ng about my performance i sch die liao i was like so damn pissed off i hoped that ms ng wun say anything bad lol

Results

2007-08-21T05:49:00.000-07:00

Chinese history:18/40
Chinese compre:31/50
Eng editing:16/20 yays
History:29/33
Geog:25/35
Sci:25/30
Maths:24/40

Monday 13 Aug

2007-08-17T22:14:00.000-07:00

today i had a chinese history test it was like so damn difficult the cutting down on the sentence part a dun even know how to do i just copied everything directly

but after school was more fun pooven, nicholas, zhi xiang, omar, brandon, wen jie , xiu ming and i were dueling at the same time. brandon and i team up and the battle didnt really finish coz nicholas had to go home. then i went with zhi xiang opposite to buy bubble tea then we went home but after that i tio headache so suay

Friday

2007-08-11T22:30:00.000-07:00

Nice sia finally get to go nicholas house after a very time but not much to do there coz nicholas tio banned from his xbox and computer.

At least we get to play duel masters but when i play with zhi xiang he use nicholas darkness deck and owned me sia then we play 4 people match xiu ming damn suay tio defeated very easily

Then also watch the "friends" show damn funny, all of us laugh like crazy

2007-08-11T08:11:00.000-07:00

thank to nicholas for helping me

2007-08-11T07:40:00.001-07:00

this is my new blog